Ice Cream Bites

Decorate with rubber ice cream cones

Last month on Doughnut Bites, I shared my disdain for those ridiculous rubber doughnut stickers that people are supposed to want to use to decorate cell phones and other items. Today, unfortunately, I'm bringing the nonsense over to Ice Cream Bites with a decorative ice cream set from the same Ultimate Sweets Deco line responsible for the doughnut disaster.

The cones look very much like the ice cream cake picks that I still maintain came straight out of my sketch pad and are bundled with four fondant-looking pink hearts and some sparkling jewels. Cute as a sheet of stickers, I agree, but not as a way to dress up gadgets (especially given my penchant for shiny tech toys).

Available from Strapya World for about $9.

Pink ice cream belly button ring

How you can love ice cream to the extent that you're visiting Ice Cream Bites yet still have a nice enough stomach to show off a belly button ring is a secret you could make millions from.

But before you reveal the exact blend of flavors, whipped cream, and hot fudge needed to turbo-charge your metabolism, you should probably start hanging Body Candy's pink jeweled ice cream cone navel ring from your belly button first. That way when people spot the piece of surgical-grade stainless steel jewelry laying flat against your even flatter tummy, you'll have a product to peddle when they ask how someone so fit could like a frozen dessert so much that a shiny representation of it was deemed a necessary accessory.

Consumers are fond of company presidents who are also company customers (just look at that hair club for men), so the cost of the $12 belly ring would be covered by your metabolism-secret book/pill/lotion/whatever in no time.

Palm-sized ice cream cell phone charm

I don't know what it is about ice cream cones that make cell phone charm manufacturers think they need to be made as big as or even bigger than the phones they're meant to hang from, but it's apparently a golden rule in the handset accessory world.

The enormous Hello Kitty ice cream charm should've clued me in on this a few months ago, but I just figured it had something to do with Ms. Kitty's massive ego. Now that I've discovered the assorted flavors of the Palm-Sized Ice Cream Figure Cell Phone Strap from Strapya World, however, I see that I've misjudged the feline. Who knew Hello Kitty was such a size-conformist!

The palm-sized Mini Ice Cream Shop series includes six varieties of charms that are available now for $5.19 apiece.

Paul Frank ice cream wallet

It doesn't belong to the same line as his tote bag, but if you don't discriminate or care about mismatched accessories, then Paul Frank's 8" x 4" ice cream wallet ($30) should probably be the next item to add to your growing PF ice cream collection.

In addition to providing storage space for your IDs (you know you need to carry your inedible ice cream fan club membership card to view this site, right?), credit cards, and cash, the fabric wallet includes a removable mirror (see photo below) to remind you what an ice cream fanatic looks like.

Ice cream sundae crochet pattern

My god, if I knew how to make this crocheted ice cream sundae myself, I think I'd have to quit writing and set up a permanent stand at a craft fair.

Just look at it! The elegant sundae dish, the chopped nuts sprinkled on the hot fudge, the wafer sticks, the cherry: everything is impeccable. Thanks to the generous nature of stripeyblue over at Etsy, I can pick up the pattern for this 5" crocheted ice cream treat for just $4 and crochet away. All I'd need to start churning out my own handmade sundaes are the supplies. Oh yeah, and the ability to crochet.

Now where can I buy that?

14K gold ice cream sundae charm

If it weren't for the cherry and yellow gold, this ice cream sundae charm from Precious Accents is probably something I wouldn't mind getting as a gift. I wouldn't buy it for myself (aforementioned dislike of cherries and yellow gold), but if someone bought and wrapped it up for me, I'd call it a cute and thoughtful surprise.

Please don't buy it for me, though, okay? I appreciate the thought, to be sure, but I'd feel obligated to wear it every time I saw you. I'd also wonder why you chose to get it when I just got done saying how much I don't like yellow gold (14K or not) and cherries.

So then there I'd be: forced to wear a 0.87" x 0.43" gold charm on a gold chain that I'd have to go out and buy if it wasn't included in the box while secretly wondering whether the sundae was actually meant as a spiteful non-gift (similar to the unvitation or non-vite made popular by Seinfeld).

Don't misinterpret this as a hint okay, but the ice cream sundae charm is available for $273 from Amazon.

Hot fudge brownie sundae tote bag

Don't let the wide eyes and innocent smile fool you. Beneath the hot fudge brownie disguise printed on this 19" x 14" x 6" cotton canvas tote bag lurks a big scoop of vanilla ice cream. Where it's trying to sneak off to atop that magic carpet of a brownie is anyone's guess, but it's quite obvious that it wanted to slip by unnoticed.

Ice cream? No, no, there's no ice cream here. Didn't you see the sign? It says "hot fudge brownie." No mention of ice cream there.

Oh, Mr. Ice Cream. You think the absence of a cherry and whipped cream would fool anyone?

Bail is set at $19 from schmeer's Zazzle joint.