Ice Cream Bites

Hot fudge brownie sundae tote bag

Don't let the wide eyes and innocent smile fool you. Beneath the hot fudge brownie disguise printed on this 19" x 14" x 6" cotton canvas tote bag lurks a big scoop of vanilla ice cream. Where it's trying to sneak off to atop that magic carpet of a brownie is anyone's guess, but it's quite obvious that it wanted to slip by unnoticed.

Ice cream? No, no, there's no ice cream here. Didn't you see the sign? It says "hot fudge brownie." No mention of ice cream there.

Oh, Mr. Ice Cream. You think the absence of a cherry and whipped cream would fool anyone?

Bail is set at $19 from schmeer's Zazzle joint.

Paul Frank ice cream tote bag

Compared to his more popular designs, this pink and red ice cream logo is pretty uncharacteristic of Paul Frank. I half-expected to see Julius (his famous wide-mouthed monkey character) hidden in the cherry or wrapped around the wafer cookies.

Paul actually does have a line of ice-cream-branded items (some featuring Julius as a frozen treat), though, so to anyone familiar with his varied collections, this 11.5" x 14" soft serve canvas tote really doesn't cause any ruckus. Other than the two 17" handles and the screenprinted retro design, there's really not much else to say about the bag.

Available for $22 from fredflare.com.

Andy Warhol pink ice cream tote

Hiding behind those removable banana, cow, and Mao Zedong buttons pinned to this pink canvas tote is a slightly reworked and officially licensed version of Andy Warhol's Ice Cream Dessert (c.1959).

In addition to double straps printed with some Warhol mind gems ("It takes a lot of work to figure out how to look so good" and "Think rich, look poor"), there's a fruity coin purse fit for a Velvet Underground fan chained to the inside of the bag, where three open pockets and a key chain strap also reside.

Take a peek at some additional pictures or get over to the Alternative Outfitters vegan boutique with $44 on your credit card to check out the ice cream tote in person.

Strawberry ice cream cone tote bag

Ever since a cockroach crawled out of my Kate Spade purse when I was in college, I have never carried a bag that didn't have a full zipper closure. That's why this ice cream tote bag ($18), sweet as it is, is something that will never find its way to my shoulder.

My neurosis often gets laughed by those who answer my paranoid concerns with "What're the odds of that happening?", but ignorance is obviously bliss. Because believe me, once you have a disgusting bug come out of your belongings in front of people you see regularly in your early twenties, you'll never use a bag with anything but zippers again.

If you're one of those daredevil types who feed off the thrill of public humiliation and/or don't live in a dorm room without pest control, the gray tote bag has pink lining, an outer pocket featuring a strawberry ice cream cone that has an anime-look to it (close-up below), and blue buttons sewn onto the 9" double straps.